With having my last CEGEP exam today (or my final final, if you will), I wanted to take a look back at the 29 courses that made up my college studies.
It might not be the funniest post – since each class will be described with a one liner/inside joke – but I’m doing this for my future self to look back on when I’m getting a PhD and whatnot and laughing at my previous course load. Aka, I don’t know if anyone else can relate to the follow commentary/jokes, but here we go:
Semester 1:
Intro to College English: Dongs and comic books – because that’s what you should expect when your teacher is essentially Seth Rogan. Also, sorry I didn’t know that a Brontosaurus wasn’t a real dinosaur.
Art of the Ancient Americas: Priding myself for my ability to pronounce at least 20% of the cultural stuff.
Dance: I should have done the Running Man for the choreographies’ freestyles.
Spanish: Las sacapuntas.
Research Methods: Group work is a definite nope – not a fan.
Western Civilisation: Fill a 32-page note book in 13 days: check.
Intro to Psych: Freud. Oh, and messing with the students’ minds. (Thanks for bringing a spider to class)
Semester 2:
Poetry: It’s all about the Bible (Thank God).
Fitness: At least the gym doesn’t scare me any more.
Astronomy: Space is very large. Like bigger than the amount of time I spend on the internet.
French: Jesus, Harry Potter, and Angry Lobsters.
Macroeconomics: Funlandia needs to look at their tire production rates. A++ .gif usage
World Geography: Did somebody say TFR?
Sociology: It’s nice to know that middle-aged profs still giggle at the word “duty/doodie”
Semester 3:
Liars and Thieves (English): In theory, if we were to approach this through a capitalist lens, could we say that…?
American Century: Good luck getting tea stains out of your notes. Also, why was this class two hours long?
Stress Management: Go on, take a nap in class, it’s cool.
International Politics: Billiard ball model and to-the-death Jeopardy games.
Psych of Mental Disorders: I’m actually pretty normal.
Psych of Adolescent Development: Talk Six still sounds like “toxic” to me.
Social Psych: Researchers really like loud, annoying buzzing sounds.
Semester 4:
Blogging and Creative Non-Fiction: Show and tell while you steal like an artist.
Biblical Sex (Ethics): You can get a divorce, but no take-backsies.
Cinema and Media (French): Strategically getting the prof to end class early is always the end goal. Also, seduction must always be grand.
Human Biology: Cue card game muy strong.
Stats: I haven’t been this confused since grade 11 physics. Also, plan C is a myth.
Integrative Project: Lookit, I did a pre-pre-pre-thesis!
Honours Social Science Seminar: An excuse to have bagels. Because Montreal.
So there you have it, two years wrapped up in less than 500 words.
Feels like it was that short, too.